I Can't Wait Until the Last Minute to Conceal Too Much
by Samuel Garcia
(May or may not be based on a true story.)
You know when you're trying to clean your room, that you get that devious idea to hide everything in your closet?
Because you're getting visitors?
Yep. Well, I did that once, and never stopped. You heard that right. The collection thrived.
Stuff just piled on and on. I stuffed in a washing machine and a dryer. I think there was a dead body in there, too. Probably one of the bandits who tried breaking in our house back then. Nothing a little Febreeze could fix.
A couple of months later, the closet burst and filled up my whole room. So I started to sleep on the couch on the living room. And more stuff I piled on as the days went by. I did manage to get my laptop and my iDevices out of the mess, don't want those missing.
Time passed, and for some reason, the walls of the room collapsed. The debris was now in every room. It doesn't matter, though. I did have to swim a few times to retrieve a few useful things. I can live with it.
I called a friend over for pizza. She berated me for keeping such a messy apartment. I shrugged, so I went over to the fridge to get her some soda. I came back, and could not find her. I found her scarf and coat on the wall of things. I tried calling her, but she won't answer her phone.
I plopped down, ate a slice, and drank what was supposed to be her Mountain Dew. Mmmmm, cheesy.
Wow, she must have been really miffed. Oh well, remember, always have friends that will not judge you for your stuff, because true friends will always be there for you, regardless.
Even the living room collected too much to sleep in. So I took my sleeping bag and put it in the hallway of my apartment building. My neighbors looked on at me, but never muttered so much a word or two. Whatever, mind your own business.
Everything is fine and dandy.
Ugh, it's the landlord. I could hear him stomping up the stairs. I guess I have to find the payment for my lease. I opened the door to my apartment and scaled down the cliff face. I waved down at the small village over the horizon. They are such nice people, if primitive.