Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day Part #1: Questions and Pick Up Lines

Check out Part 2!
Let's do questions first.
Who is your current crush? Who was your first crush?
I like the orange soda, too. I don't have a Crush soda though. Just some apple cider. I wonder why the makers of Candy Crush haven't sued them yet?

Crushes make us young. I am frankly attracted to someone at the moment. She has blondish, brownish, long hair-ish. From College Plus? No names, lest I embarrass her. Cause she probably doesn't have a clue that I do. Maybe. ;)

I kept this answer intentionally vague. :P

My first crush's name was Millicent Rose in kindergarten. She's also the first girl I've taken a picture with. I have no idea where the picture is.

Why am I single?
There are countless alternate universes where you are NOT single. So have consolation in the fact that one of you in another alternate universe has a perfect girlfriend that loves you and cherishes you and marries you, happily ever after.

Unfortunately, travel between universes are not allowable by our current technology and/or laws of physics.

Why do we love?
We love because God has first loved us. And also, chocolate. Also, chemical interactions in our brains. Also, peer pressure. Also, the butterflies in our stomach and meeting someone's eyes. And knowing you will never going to be with that person.

Favorite love song(s)?
Right now, "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, but also "My Girl" by the Temptations, and "Fur Elise" by Bach. Also, I call them sentimental songs, not love songs. Oh, and "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know"! :D

Courting or dating?
I subscribe to this thing called "courtation". Okay, I'm kidding. I will have my thesis on it post as separate, so check that out. I kinda define that dating is before engagement, and courting is after engagement.

Qualities in girls you like?
I only like girls who are virtuous, godly, good, beautiful, and single. Oh, and she must have cookies for me.

Who is my favorite historical couple?
I ship Adam and Eve, Valentine and Asterius' daughter, Doctor and River Song, Jesus Christ and His Bride (though technically a future thing). Bonnie and Clyde; and Marie and Pierre Curie did not make the list, unfortunately.

My favorite is probably Prince Albert and Queen Victoria of England. They are a model every family, royal or otherwise, should aspire to.

How did the heart morph from a fist-shaped organ to the cute little shape we see everywhere today?
The first instances of the use of the so-called geometric heart shape was during the Middle Ages in the use of decoration (Think of the decorated medieval books and Bibles with pictures). But it was not identified as a heart and a symbol of love until around the 13th century, where it was depicted as a pine cone shape in the hands of a knight giving it to his damsel in distress. It appears in various paintings from then on. The current form was finalized around the 14th or so century, and the hearts on playing card games came around the 15th.

In my opinion, the heart-shape is actually more accurate, but exaggerated, than it is given credit for. A normal heart has four chambers, and a somewhat pointed bottom. Also, Cupid cannot hit anyone with his heart arrows without the point. So it does have a practical purpose.

But yes, it went from a fist, to a pine cone, to a the pointed cardiod shape today.Neat, huh?

Which is better to give your Valentine, roses or chocolates?
Chocolate roses. Sprinkled with bacon. A whole bouquet. I don't care if you have money to afford this, steal, plunder, beg, save, invest, so you can have enough. Always, always go over the top on Valentine's Day for your love. Your Valentine will always have a fond memory of you. I promise.

Now for some pickup lines!
Christian pickups:
I've been reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I don't have yours.
Are you my babe in Christ?
Hi, my name is Will. God's Will.
Is your name Grace? Cause you are amazing.
Can I have your name and number for my prayer list?
Is that a mirror in your Bible? Cause you are reflecting the image of Christ.
Is it a sin to steal my heart?
Before this night, I never believed in predestination.
Is this pew taken?
I've picked out our chaperones.
You're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.
Is your name Faith? Because you are the substance of things hoped for!

Doctor Who pickups:
Will you be my companion?
My heart for you is bigger on the inside.
Babe, you make both of my hearts skip a beat.
We have all of time and space to get acquainted.
Come along, Pond!
You're my fixed point in time.
You must be a weeping angel, because I can't take my eyes off you.

Bonus pickups:
Hey, do you have my hairbrush? Because you are a real peach. (Veggie Tales)

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any eye rolling, face slapping, indiscriminate laughter, cold shoulders, heart breaking or otherwise from the use of the above pickup lines. Use them at your own peril. I will, however, take credit for any engagements and marriages resulting from such use. And invite me to the wedding. Please. Or even have me officiate the wedding! :D

Thanks to Rikki Meek, Hannah Musick, Joshua Loomis, Drew Sproule, Skip Graham, Faith Burnside, Sarah Iddings, Garret Johnson, and everyone else who submitted a line or question or suggestion, or I did otherwise steal from you.

Check out Part 2!

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