Q: If she prayed for my prayer request at youth group, does that mean she wants to marry me?
A: Whoa, there, don't rush, it just means she wants to be engaged to you. Prayer is a ringer!
Q: She passed me the offering plate tonight, so we're getting pretty serious. What should my next move be?
A: Put in your tithe and offerings then pass the plate to the next person on the row.
Q: There's no one my age at church. Do I switch denominations?
A: I don't see the problem. We are all in the Church Age. Are you a time traveler? Is there a denomination where they allow you to marry another age? Probably Mormon, idk.
Q: I met a guy at church camp but he didn't ask for my number. Should I follow him on instagram?
A: You should follow him in real life and take pictures of him in real life.
Q: What ever happened to @askbaptistmemes?
A: I ate it.
Q: I keep getting creepy message requests from guys who look like stalkers. Should I accept in case one is my future husband?
A: I'm sorry, I will stop messaging you, kay? Just because I like wearing black does not mean I am a stalker. But I am one. Well.
Q: Ooh! I have a question! Is the infamous Samuel Garcia still single?
A: I am one single physical body. As for my mental state, I have multiple personality disorder. Or so they say. We haven't reached a consensus yet. The council of Sams will convene soon.
Q: Are you dating (so-and-so; question asked multiple times about different girls)?
A: No, eww, she's like a (sister/niece/something else) to me.
Q: Should the guy or girl make the first move?
A: You're supposed to move the white pieces first in Chess.
Q: How do I explain to my friends that I only do side-hugs, and thus cannot hold hands during prayer time?
A: With a Powerpoint presentation detailing facts and charts about the statistics of the correlation between leprosy and holding hands.
Q: She liked my Facebook status, it was a status about my paycheck. Should I ask her out even if she is a potential gold digger?
A: Yes. Digging for gold is a lost skill in this day and age. You have to make claims on the rush, pan for the gold in rivers and streams, do some tests whether or not the object found is actually fool's gold or some other gold impostor, and find the right prices for the gold market.
Q: She's my wife. Should I marry her?
A: Remarriage to someone who is already married is a sin. Marrying your wife again is even worse because now it will be an infinite loop of iniquity akin to witchcraft and the grandfather paradox.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Valentine's Day Part #3: Even More Questions
Check out Part 1 and Part 2!
Before going in some questions, here's a couple videos!
Now for some questions!
What's a good age to start dating?
A good age to start dating is when you were born. You know, you have to know the date of your birth, the date of your first words, when you first walked, and the first day you were potty trained by yourself.
As long you're mature enough and your parents think so, too, then I have no big opinion about it. I say your parents because you need a third opinion besides yourself. And they also can cause havoc on you.
Is there a certain age that kissing would be allowed?
I kiss my mommy all the time. Probably when I was born I was kissed by my mommy. ^_^
My personal conviction is that one shouldn't kiss until the marriage altar. But you have your own convictions and I won't judge people for those. Just don't be dumb and get pregnant or something.
Is it smarter to date or court?
I answer that in this post.
Why do so many "children" these days have boyfriends?
Because they want to?
Too much Disney channel or Disney movies, in my opinion. Grow up, kiddos.
No one necessarily should have a girlfriend or a boyfriend just cause they want to, right?
Oh, absolutely. Some people are too selfish to be in any kind of relationship. They see another person as territory to be conquered or a toy to be trifled with.
Are you able to explain what emotional love is and why emotional love alone is not enough to be real love?
Emotional love doesn't last. It's all feeling and no action. And also selfish, sometimes.
Love is what is left after all the passion is gone. Some people confuse love with the passion, and passion is important, but it's not what all love is. It's the commitment beneath the passion that what makes love love. A commitment to that person, and that person only.
Emotions, however, is important. But it shouldn't be the only thing one relies to.
What are the components of real or mature love?
The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 13 that true love, or in the majestic vernacular of the King James, Charity suffereth long, and is kind, charity envieth not, charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.
I don't think anyone can show that unconditional love without divine empowerment. But that is what true love is.
How many years should a person date before thinking about marriage?
I would say two to three years max, unless either one don't have the necessities (not done with school, doesn't have a job, doesn't have a house, etc.). Basically, don't be dumb and marry a guy if he can't support you. In this case, waiting longer might be better. Many marriage failures center around money or the lack thereof.
But if he does have the means, then the decision to commit needs to come quickly from him.
Is there a certain age difference that should be put in stone for two people dating?
I've seen very huge age differences that have worked out. Though if there is a big age difference, it needs to be worked out between both of them, that a couple won't fight over things.
I've found that girls are usually a couple of years more mature than guys are, as a general rule.
What are key ingredients to making any relationship work?
Communication is key. A relationship is only a relationship if each person is honest with each other. You can't love without communicating.
What are things that people should talk about before they get married?
People getting married should talk about their fundamental beliefs. Also, they should set in stone to never, ever even talk of divorce. As I said in a previous post, don't marry someone who you can find an easy way out.
Money is also one thing that needs to be talked about. So many times that couples focus on the romance that they forget the practical.
Thanks to Isabella Ustick for all the remaining questions!
Before going in some questions, here's a couple videos!
Now for some questions!
What's a good age to start dating?
A good age to start dating is when you were born. You know, you have to know the date of your birth, the date of your first words, when you first walked, and the first day you were potty trained by yourself.
As long you're mature enough and your parents think so, too, then I have no big opinion about it. I say your parents because you need a third opinion besides yourself. And they also can cause havoc on you.
Is there a certain age that kissing would be allowed?
I kiss my mommy all the time. Probably when I was born I was kissed by my mommy. ^_^
My personal conviction is that one shouldn't kiss until the marriage altar. But you have your own convictions and I won't judge people for those. Just don't be dumb and get pregnant or something.
Is it smarter to date or court?
I answer that in this post.
Why do so many "children" these days have boyfriends?
Because they want to?
Too much Disney channel or Disney movies, in my opinion. Grow up, kiddos.
No one necessarily should have a girlfriend or a boyfriend just cause they want to, right?
Oh, absolutely. Some people are too selfish to be in any kind of relationship. They see another person as territory to be conquered or a toy to be trifled with.
Are you able to explain what emotional love is and why emotional love alone is not enough to be real love?
Emotional love doesn't last. It's all feeling and no action. And also selfish, sometimes.
Love is what is left after all the passion is gone. Some people confuse love with the passion, and passion is important, but it's not what all love is. It's the commitment beneath the passion that what makes love love. A commitment to that person, and that person only.
Emotions, however, is important. But it shouldn't be the only thing one relies to.
What are the components of real or mature love?
The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 13 that true love, or in the majestic vernacular of the King James, Charity suffereth long, and is kind, charity envieth not, charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.
I don't think anyone can show that unconditional love without divine empowerment. But that is what true love is.
How many years should a person date before thinking about marriage?
I would say two to three years max, unless either one don't have the necessities (not done with school, doesn't have a job, doesn't have a house, etc.). Basically, don't be dumb and marry a guy if he can't support you. In this case, waiting longer might be better. Many marriage failures center around money or the lack thereof.
But if he does have the means, then the decision to commit needs to come quickly from him.
Is there a certain age difference that should be put in stone for two people dating?
I've seen very huge age differences that have worked out. Though if there is a big age difference, it needs to be worked out between both of them, that a couple won't fight over things.
I've found that girls are usually a couple of years more mature than guys are, as a general rule.
What are key ingredients to making any relationship work?
Communication is key. A relationship is only a relationship if each person is honest with each other. You can't love without communicating.
What are things that people should talk about before they get married?
People getting married should talk about their fundamental beliefs. Also, they should set in stone to never, ever even talk of divorce. As I said in a previous post, don't marry someone who you can find an easy way out.
Money is also one thing that needs to be talked about. So many times that couples focus on the romance that they forget the practical.
Thanks to Isabella Ustick for all the remaining questions!
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine's Day Part #2: Thesis on Courtship and Dating and More Questions
Check out Part 1!
(Short) Thesis on Courtship and Dating
What is the difference between courtship and dating? Such a mystery many youth pastors, young Christian couples, Bible college students, and Sunday School teens try to solve.
According to a recent poll, over 60% of people do not know if they count their going out as dating. Obviously, there needs to be clarification in this issue.
I'm not arrogant enough to tell you I know the actual difference. But there is always the dictionary to turn to.
For myself, I usually define dating a hangout with romantic overtones before an engagement and/or without the aim of a future marriage. For courtship, it's planned after an engagement with a structured aim for a future marriage. Courtship often has the implicit approval of the girl's parents.
While not a universally recognized definition, it works for me. I've had very few dates (can count them on one hand), but no "courts" yet. Or are they still called dates?
The point is, set a personal conviction. Define boundaries. Commit to purity of body, soul, and spirit.
Whether you date or court, do all to the glory of God.
Now for questions!
Favorite love story movie/chick flick thing?
I don't watch these kinds of movies (DUH, cause I'm a guy). But if I had to pick one, Pride and Prejudice. I haven't even read the book, yet. It has contra dancing and British aristocratic mannerisms.
Eh, which love story in a Disney movie then?
Disney movies are classic. But they all had the same storyline. Frozen was really good, but not as a love story of a guy and a girl. That felt like it was just tacked on, and the focus was on the sisters'.... sisterhood. Probably the best one to me is either Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.
Why do most humans, me being the 99th Doctor I have two, not have two hearts?
At least you're not Inspector Spacetime who has no heart at all!
The Time Vortex energies was used by Rassilon to create Time Lords out of Gallifreyans. Not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords, as some offworlder may suspect. Normal Gallifreyans have only one heart. Time Lords, a class above Gallifreyans, have two.
Rassilon seeded the universe with Gallifreyan genetics so that everyone would look Gallifreyan. Apparently, that's why we all look Time Lord. Humans just lack the exposure to the Time Vortex. This also explains why River Song's exposure to the Time Vortex as a baby made her a Time Lady.
If you think I'm wrong, check out the TARDIS wikia.
Why does society think love is...what it shows in movies?
Art imitates life. Life imitates art. Movies imitate society. Society imitates movies. It never ends. It's like the chicken and egg. We know that God created the chickens first on the fifth day. But that doesn't stop people why they keep crossing the road or putting them in buckets and calling them Kentucky Fried.
We know that society has existed long before movies. But society has existed along side storytelling found in movies in the form of fairy tales. Did you know that Disney Princesses are actually from earlier princess stories? No way! The first-kiss,-love-in-first-sight type of love is very ancient, but only pervades modern society through movies.
Plato said that he cares not for who writes the laws, as long he writes the music. A Rothschild said that he also cares not who writes the laws, as long he controls the money supply.
Well, it turns out that movies have big music and big money associated with them. What this has to do with love, I have no idea.
There are different kinds of love.... how many words (Greek/Hebrew) for love are used in the Bible?
The Hebrew has two words for love: ahab and (c)hesed. Ahab is the closest to the everyday English meaning and use of the word love. (C)hesed is used for when a higher position loves a one of lower, particularly God loving us.
There is agape, philos, and eros for the Greek. Agape is God's pure love for us, and what each Christian should show to the brethren. Philos is the love of a friend to another, also used in Christian interaction. Eros can be translated as love or evil, often talking about the materialistic, pleasure, physical love.
There's another word for love in Greek called storge, but is not present in the Bible, denoting parental love.
Why can't I love and marry myself and my awesomeness?
You can always clone an opposite gendered person of yourself. Have you looked at this option? Might have some ethical, biological, and technological ramifications to consider, however.
I for one would not marry myself. That is wrong on so many levels. Even with my many, many multi-personalities, I would not be able to do it.
Why can't we marry an ant? Divorce would be easy. Squish it.
Have you ever heard of the saying that fish are friends, not food? Well, ants are not fishes.
Also, have you heard of "I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine? And he shall be my squishy.". Well, squishing denotes affection. But it is also gruesome and possibly murderous.
I will be politically correct and will not comment on how wrong it is to marry insects. People in Japan may be tickled pink. Someone there married a video game.
Okay... Why am I still living here on this dimension?
Do not marry someone just because you have an easy way out. Just saying.
Many thanks to Jonathan David Bloom, Adam De Kroon, and many others who contributed questions, etc.
Check out Part 1!
(Short) Thesis on Courtship and Dating
What is the difference between courtship and dating? Such a mystery many youth pastors, young Christian couples, Bible college students, and Sunday School teens try to solve.
According to a recent poll, over 60% of people do not know if they count their going out as dating. Obviously, there needs to be clarification in this issue.
I'm not arrogant enough to tell you I know the actual difference. But there is always the dictionary to turn to.
For myself, I usually define dating a hangout with romantic overtones before an engagement and/or without the aim of a future marriage. For courtship, it's planned after an engagement with a structured aim for a future marriage. Courtship often has the implicit approval of the girl's parents.
While not a universally recognized definition, it works for me. I've had very few dates (can count them on one hand), but no "courts" yet. Or are they still called dates?
The point is, set a personal conviction. Define boundaries. Commit to purity of body, soul, and spirit.
Whether you date or court, do all to the glory of God.
Now for questions!
Favorite love story movie/chick flick thing?
I don't watch these kinds of movies (DUH, cause I'm a guy). But if I had to pick one, Pride and Prejudice. I haven't even read the book, yet. It has contra dancing and British aristocratic mannerisms.
Eh, which love story in a Disney movie then?
Disney movies are classic. But they all had the same storyline. Frozen was really good, but not as a love story of a guy and a girl. That felt like it was just tacked on, and the focus was on the sisters'.... sisterhood. Probably the best one to me is either Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.
Why do most humans, me being the 99th Doctor I have two, not have two hearts?
At least you're not Inspector Spacetime who has no heart at all!
The Time Vortex energies was used by Rassilon to create Time Lords out of Gallifreyans. Not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords, as some offworlder may suspect. Normal Gallifreyans have only one heart. Time Lords, a class above Gallifreyans, have two.
Rassilon seeded the universe with Gallifreyan genetics so that everyone would look Gallifreyan. Apparently, that's why we all look Time Lord. Humans just lack the exposure to the Time Vortex. This also explains why River Song's exposure to the Time Vortex as a baby made her a Time Lady.
If you think I'm wrong, check out the TARDIS wikia.
Why does society think love is...what it shows in movies?
Art imitates life. Life imitates art. Movies imitate society. Society imitates movies. It never ends. It's like the chicken and egg. We know that God created the chickens first on the fifth day. But that doesn't stop people why they keep crossing the road or putting them in buckets and calling them Kentucky Fried.
We know that society has existed long before movies. But society has existed along side storytelling found in movies in the form of fairy tales. Did you know that Disney Princesses are actually from earlier princess stories? No way! The first-kiss,-love-in-first-sight type of love is very ancient, but only pervades modern society through movies.
Plato said that he cares not for who writes the laws, as long he writes the music. A Rothschild said that he also cares not who writes the laws, as long he controls the money supply.
Well, it turns out that movies have big music and big money associated with them. What this has to do with love, I have no idea.
There are different kinds of love.... how many words (Greek/Hebrew) for love are used in the Bible?
The Hebrew has two words for love: ahab and (c)hesed. Ahab is the closest to the everyday English meaning and use of the word love. (C)hesed is used for when a higher position loves a one of lower, particularly God loving us.
There is agape, philos, and eros for the Greek. Agape is God's pure love for us, and what each Christian should show to the brethren. Philos is the love of a friend to another, also used in Christian interaction. Eros can be translated as love or evil, often talking about the materialistic, pleasure, physical love.
There's another word for love in Greek called storge, but is not present in the Bible, denoting parental love.
Why can't I love and marry myself and my awesomeness?
You can always clone an opposite gendered person of yourself. Have you looked at this option? Might have some ethical, biological, and technological ramifications to consider, however.
I for one would not marry myself. That is wrong on so many levels. Even with my many, many multi-personalities, I would not be able to do it.
Why can't we marry an ant? Divorce would be easy. Squish it.
Have you ever heard of the saying that fish are friends, not food? Well, ants are not fishes.
Also, have you heard of "I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine? And he shall be my squishy.". Well, squishing denotes affection. But it is also gruesome and possibly murderous.
I will be politically correct and will not comment on how wrong it is to marry insects. People in Japan may be tickled pink. Someone there married a video game.
Okay... Why am I still living here on this dimension?
Do not marry someone just because you have an easy way out. Just saying.
Many thanks to Jonathan David Bloom, Adam De Kroon, and many others who contributed questions, etc.
Check out Part 1!
Valentine's Day Part #1: Questions and Pick Up Lines
Check out Part 2!
Let's do questions first.
Who is your current crush? Who was your first crush?
I like the orange soda, too. I don't have a Crush soda though. Just some apple cider. I wonder why the makers of Candy Crush haven't sued them yet?
Crushes make us young. I am frankly attracted to someone at the moment. She has blondish, brownish, long hair-ish. From College Plus? No names, lest I embarrass her. Cause she probably doesn't have a clue that I do. Maybe. ;)
I kept this answer intentionally vague. :P
My first crush's name was Millicent Rose in kindergarten. She's also the first girl I've taken a picture with. I have no idea where the picture is.
Why am I single?
There are countless alternate universes where you are NOT single. So have consolation in the fact that one of you in another alternate universe has a perfect girlfriend that loves you and cherishes you and marries you, happily ever after.
Unfortunately, travel between universes are not allowable by our current technology and/or laws of physics.
Why do we love?
We love because God has first loved us. And also, chocolate. Also, chemical interactions in our brains. Also, peer pressure. Also, the butterflies in our stomach and meeting someone's eyes. And knowing you will never going to be with that person.
Favorite love song(s)?
Right now, "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, but also "My Girl" by the Temptations, and "Fur Elise" by Bach. Also, I call them sentimental songs, not love songs. Oh, and "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know"! :D
Courting or dating?
I subscribe to this thing called "courtation". Okay, I'm kidding. I will have my thesis on it post as separate, so check that out. I kinda define that dating is before engagement, and courting is after engagement.
Qualities in girls you like?
I only like girls who are virtuous, godly, good, beautiful, and single. Oh, and she must have cookies for me.
Who is my favorite historical couple?
I ship Adam and Eve, Valentine and Asterius' daughter, Doctor and River Song, Jesus Christ and His Bride (though technically a future thing). Bonnie and Clyde; and Marie and Pierre Curie did not make the list, unfortunately.
My favorite is probably Prince Albert and Queen Victoria of England. They are a model every family, royal or otherwise, should aspire to.
How did the heart morph from a fist-shaped organ to the cute little shape we see everywhere today?
The first instances of the use of the so-called geometric heart shape was during the Middle Ages in the use of decoration (Think of the decorated medieval books and Bibles with pictures). But it was not identified as a heart and a symbol of love until around the 13th century, where it was depicted as a pine cone shape in the hands of a knight giving it to his damsel in distress. It appears in various paintings from then on. The current form was finalized around the 14th or so century, and the hearts on playing card games came around the 15th.
In my opinion, the heart-shape is actually more accurate, but exaggerated, than it is given credit for. A normal heart has four chambers, and a somewhat pointed bottom. Also, Cupid cannot hit anyone with his heart arrows without the point. So it does have a practical purpose.
But yes, it went from a fist, to a pine cone, to a the pointed cardiod shape today.Neat, huh?
Which is better to give your Valentine, roses or chocolates?
Chocolate roses. Sprinkled with bacon. A whole bouquet. I don't care if you have money to afford this, steal, plunder, beg, save, invest, so you can have enough. Always, always go over the top on Valentine's Day for your love. Your Valentine will always have a fond memory of you. I promise.
Now for some pickup lines!
Christian pickups:
I've been reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I don't have yours.
Are you my babe in Christ?
Hi, my name is Will. God's Will.
Is your name Grace? Cause you are amazing.
Can I have your name and number for my prayer list?
Is that a mirror in your Bible? Cause you are reflecting the image of Christ.
Is it a sin to steal my heart?
Before this night, I never believed in predestination.
Is this pew taken?
I've picked out our chaperones.
You're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.
Is your name Faith? Because you are the substance of things hoped for!
Doctor Who pickups:
Will you be my companion?
My heart for you is bigger on the inside.
Babe, you make both of my hearts skip a beat.
We have all of time and space to get acquainted.
Come along, Pond!
You're my fixed point in time.
You must be a weeping angel, because I can't take my eyes off you.
Bonus pickups:
Hey, do you have my hairbrush? Because you are a real peach. (Veggie Tales)
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any eye rolling, face slapping, indiscriminate laughter, cold shoulders, heart breaking or otherwise from the use of the above pickup lines. Use them at your own peril. I will, however, take credit for any engagements and marriages resulting from such use. And invite me to the wedding. Please. Or even have me officiate the wedding! :D
Thanks to Rikki Meek, Hannah Musick, Joshua Loomis, Drew Sproule, Skip Graham, Faith Burnside, Sarah Iddings, Garret Johnson, and everyone else who submitted a line or question or suggestion, or I did otherwise steal from you.
Check out Part 2!
Let's do questions first.
Who is your current crush? Who was your first crush?
I like the orange soda, too. I don't have a Crush soda though. Just some apple cider. I wonder why the makers of Candy Crush haven't sued them yet?
Crushes make us young. I am frankly attracted to someone at the moment. She has blondish, brownish, long hair-ish. From College Plus? No names, lest I embarrass her. Cause she probably doesn't have a clue that I do. Maybe. ;)
I kept this answer intentionally vague. :P
My first crush's name was Millicent Rose in kindergarten. She's also the first girl I've taken a picture with. I have no idea where the picture is.
Why am I single?
There are countless alternate universes where you are NOT single. So have consolation in the fact that one of you in another alternate universe has a perfect girlfriend that loves you and cherishes you and marries you, happily ever after.
Unfortunately, travel between universes are not allowable by our current technology and/or laws of physics.
Why do we love?
We love because God has first loved us. And also, chocolate. Also, chemical interactions in our brains. Also, peer pressure. Also, the butterflies in our stomach and meeting someone's eyes. And knowing you will never going to be with that person.
Favorite love song(s)?
Right now, "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, but also "My Girl" by the Temptations, and "Fur Elise" by Bach. Also, I call them sentimental songs, not love songs. Oh, and "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know"! :D
Courting or dating?
I subscribe to this thing called "courtation". Okay, I'm kidding. I will have my thesis on it post as separate, so check that out. I kinda define that dating is before engagement, and courting is after engagement.
Qualities in girls you like?
I only like girls who are virtuous, godly, good, beautiful, and single. Oh, and she must have cookies for me.
Who is my favorite historical couple?
I ship Adam and Eve, Valentine and Asterius' daughter, Doctor and River Song, Jesus Christ and His Bride (though technically a future thing). Bonnie and Clyde; and Marie and Pierre Curie did not make the list, unfortunately.
My favorite is probably Prince Albert and Queen Victoria of England. They are a model every family, royal or otherwise, should aspire to.
How did the heart morph from a fist-shaped organ to the cute little shape we see everywhere today?
The first instances of the use of the so-called geometric heart shape was during the Middle Ages in the use of decoration (Think of the decorated medieval books and Bibles with pictures). But it was not identified as a heart and a symbol of love until around the 13th century, where it was depicted as a pine cone shape in the hands of a knight giving it to his damsel in distress. It appears in various paintings from then on. The current form was finalized around the 14th or so century, and the hearts on playing card games came around the 15th.
In my opinion, the heart-shape is actually more accurate, but exaggerated, than it is given credit for. A normal heart has four chambers, and a somewhat pointed bottom. Also, Cupid cannot hit anyone with his heart arrows without the point. So it does have a practical purpose.
But yes, it went from a fist, to a pine cone, to a the pointed cardiod shape today.Neat, huh?
Which is better to give your Valentine, roses or chocolates?
Chocolate roses. Sprinkled with bacon. A whole bouquet. I don't care if you have money to afford this, steal, plunder, beg, save, invest, so you can have enough. Always, always go over the top on Valentine's Day for your love. Your Valentine will always have a fond memory of you. I promise.
Now for some pickup lines!
Christian pickups:
I've been reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I don't have yours.
Are you my babe in Christ?
Hi, my name is Will. God's Will.
Is your name Grace? Cause you are amazing.
Can I have your name and number for my prayer list?
Is that a mirror in your Bible? Cause you are reflecting the image of Christ.
Is it a sin to steal my heart?
Before this night, I never believed in predestination.
Is this pew taken?
I've picked out our chaperones.
You're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.
Is your name Faith? Because you are the substance of things hoped for!
Doctor Who pickups:
Will you be my companion?
My heart for you is bigger on the inside.
Babe, you make both of my hearts skip a beat.
We have all of time and space to get acquainted.
Come along, Pond!
You're my fixed point in time.
You must be a weeping angel, because I can't take my eyes off you.
Bonus pickups:
Hey, do you have my hairbrush? Because you are a real peach. (Veggie Tales)
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any eye rolling, face slapping, indiscriminate laughter, cold shoulders, heart breaking or otherwise from the use of the above pickup lines. Use them at your own peril. I will, however, take credit for any engagements and marriages resulting from such use. And invite me to the wedding. Please. Or even have me officiate the wedding! :D
Thanks to Rikki Meek, Hannah Musick, Joshua Loomis, Drew Sproule, Skip Graham, Faith Burnside, Sarah Iddings, Garret Johnson, and everyone else who submitted a line or question or suggestion, or I did otherwise steal from you.
Check out Part 2!
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Musings About Girls and Various Things Like That
Musing #1:
So.
I like most girls.
I have many friends that are girls.
I really like some girls.
I really, really liked a few girls.
I only love one girl.
I have never had a girlfriend.
Musing #2:
I have asked out many girls to dance.
They all said "yes".
I've only asked out girls for a banquet thrice.
They all said "no".
I only had two dates in my life.
We were just as friends.
I thought she was the one. No, she is the one.
We're just acquaintances now. Almost strangers, but not quite.
No one. I have no one.
I never really knew where I stood with her. Who is she to me? Who am I to her? I. Don't. Know.
Musing #3:
I think all that I am is an annoyance to her. That I really don't mean anything to her. That I just imagined I might have meant something. But not really. Maybe, I have meant something, just not in the way I thought I did.
I asked her out once. I don't think I'll ever do it again. I felt like I wasn't wanted there. She sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but there where I was. That's why I ran. So she wouldn't have to be anywhere near me.
I tried to be just a friend to her. But I can't. She can't as well.
When I look at her, I see all my failures. When I look at her, I miss her even more. So close, and yet so unreachable.
And I still am running.
Musings #4:
Why do I pour out my heart on these blog posts?
Because I want to, that's why. And the majority of the readers won't know the details.
So you are left to ponder.
Musings #5:
Only God can bring this soul to peace, this longing heart to hope.
So.
I like most girls.
I have many friends that are girls.
I really like some girls.
I really, really liked a few girls.
I only love one girl.
I have never had a girlfriend.
Musing #2:
I have asked out many girls to dance.
They all said "yes".
I've only asked out girls for a banquet thrice.
They all said "no".
I only had two dates in my life.
We were just as friends.
I thought she was the one. No, she is the one.
We're just acquaintances now. Almost strangers, but not quite.
No one. I have no one.
I never really knew where I stood with her. Who is she to me? Who am I to her? I. Don't. Know.
Musing #3:
I think all that I am is an annoyance to her. That I really don't mean anything to her. That I just imagined I might have meant something. But not really. Maybe, I have meant something, just not in the way I thought I did.
I asked her out once. I don't think I'll ever do it again. I felt like I wasn't wanted there. She sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but there where I was. That's why I ran. So she wouldn't have to be anywhere near me.
I tried to be just a friend to her. But I can't. She can't as well.
When I look at her, I see all my failures. When I look at her, I miss her even more. So close, and yet so unreachable.
And I still am running.
Musings #4:
Why do I pour out my heart on these blog posts?
Because I want to, that's why. And the majority of the readers won't know the details.
So you are left to ponder.
Musings #5:
Only God can bring this soul to peace, this longing heart to hope.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Relationship Ramblings, Or, Why Sam Doesn't Have A Girlfriend
Another rare post about *cough* girls. Or, actually, relationships. Or something. No, just random ramblings without construction about the fact of relationships or lack thereof.
Everyone I know seems to ask me if I have a girlfriend, or if I'm courting. My grandma, cousins, family, relatives, strangers, friends from church and college, authority figures, teachers, pastors, random people....
I keep telling them, No, not yet, me? I have to... earn money, finish college, stuff like that. That I'm very, very picky. That I only want one girlfriend, and that she'll be my future wife someday. That I want to be patient and be very careful.
And that's all true. They're not really excuses, or at least bad ones. But what I don't tell many people is that I think I know who she is.
But I don't tell them. Because I feel like I fail in everything I plan concerning these things. Always waiting and waiting for weeks to build up courage. Always failing to ask in time for a date to the banquet. Always resigning whenever the one you ask tells you that, in a deflating tone of voice, why she can't go out with you. Always feeling too dejected to try again in the foreseeable future.
(That's why I look forward to the bi-annual dancing balls where the Scottish music plays around here in Ohio every spring and winter. At least there, no lady will reject any gentleman who asks her for just a single dance. And all dance as friends, not any more than such. There is no dating or any such romantic matter. Just merely fun and laughs. But I digress.)
Some people have caught on a little bit on who she would be. Or maybe, they already know for sure who she will be, as if God reveals it to them, not to me. I think He does, though. Either that, or there's a huge conspiracy going on. Them peoples making little snide, seemingly harmless jokes here and there, and I just smile and shrug it off.
It's probably my fault. Making little art game in dedication to a certain, specific mademoiselle was not the most subtle thing I could have done for Valentine's Day. I don't regret doing that, though.
People are smarter than you think. They observe you. They know more.
I think she even knows. Maybe. Or maybe she actually dislikes me a lot. Or thinks me amusing. I never really asked. Sometimes I want to know. Sometimes I don't want to know.
It's been a long time since we were together for any reason. We used to go to school. And to youth group activities. And nowadays, I only see her at church, rarely. I think we naturally avoid each other. I can probably count only a handful of times where we both were in proximity of less than one feet from each other. And most of those times were more or less forced. It made me hesitant and uncomfortable and yet strangely hopeful.
You probably can tell she occupies my thoughts a lot. Trust me, I tried forgetting. And erasing my memory. And finding another to take her place in my heart. To no avail. And that's one reason I know it's her.
Even then....
What am I supposed to do, though? Every opportunity I ever had has disappeared and it doesn't seem like any will come. I'm just quiet now. Waiting. Dreaming. Watching. Hoping. Praying. Looking out my window to see a winter wonderland.
I've just accepted the fact that if we were indeed meant for each other, that God will bring us together one day.
I love her. I trust Him.
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