Relationship Ramblings, Or, Why Sam Doesn't Have A Girlfriend

Another rare post about *cough* girls. Or, actually, relationships. Or something. No, just random ramblings without construction about the fact of relationships or lack thereof.

Everyone I know seems to ask me if I have a girlfriend, or if I'm courting. My grandma, cousins, family, relatives, strangers, friends from church and college, authority figures, teachers, pastors, random people....

I keep telling them, No, not yet, me? I have to... earn money, finish college, stuff like that. That I'm very, very picky. That I only want one girlfriend, and that she'll be my future wife someday. That I want to be patient and be very careful.

And that's all true. They're not really excuses, or at least bad ones. But what I don't tell many people is that I think I know who she is.

But I don't tell them. Because I feel like I fail in everything I plan concerning these things. Always waiting and waiting for weeks to build up courage. Always failing to ask in time for a date to the banquet. Always resigning whenever the one you ask tells you that, in a deflating tone of voice, why she can't go out with you. Always feeling too dejected to try again in the foreseeable future.

(That's why I look forward to the bi-annual dancing balls where the Scottish music plays around here in Ohio every spring and winter. At least there, no lady will reject any gentleman who asks her for just a single dance. And all dance as friends, not any more than such. There is no dating or any such romantic matter. Just merely fun and laughs. But I digress.)

Some people have caught on a little bit on who she would be. Or maybe, they already know for sure who she will be, as if God reveals it to them, not to me. I think He does, though. Either that, or there's a huge conspiracy going on. Them peoples making little snide, seemingly harmless jokes here and there, and I just smile and shrug it off.

It's probably my fault. Making little art game in dedication to a certain, specific mademoiselle was not the most subtle thing I could have done for Valentine's Day. I don't regret doing that, though.

People are smarter than you think. They observe you. They know more.

I think she even knows. Maybe. Or maybe she actually dislikes me a lot. Or thinks me amusing. I never really asked. Sometimes I want to know. Sometimes I don't want to know.

It's been a long time since we were together for any reason. We used to go to school. And to youth group activities. And nowadays, I only see her at church, rarely. I think we naturally avoid each other. I can probably count only a handful of times where we both were in proximity of less than one feet from each other. And most of those times were more or less forced. It made me hesitant and uncomfortable and yet strangely hopeful.

You probably can tell she occupies my thoughts a lot. Trust me, I tried forgetting. And erasing my memory. And finding another to take her place in my heart. To no avail. And that's one reason I know it's her.

Even then....

What am I supposed to do, though? Every opportunity I ever had has disappeared and it doesn't seem like any will come. I'm just quiet now. Waiting. Dreaming. Watching. Hoping. Praying. Looking out my window to see a winter wonderland.

I've just accepted the fact that if we were indeed meant for each other, that God will bring us together one day.

I love her. I trust Him.

The Quest for the Perfect Girl(?)

Since the blog is entitled "God, Girls, and Game Design", but it still didn't have anything about girls in it, I decided to create this first post about them! Enjoy!

Does a "Perfect Girl" Actually Exist?

It really boils down to the definition of "perfect" one uses. If one means "perfect" to denote someone who is sinless, flawless, and all-around amazing, no such girl exists. However, if "perfect" means someone who is right for a guy, someone whom God has picked to be his "soulmate", then that girl may actually exist. "Perfect" can also mean "mature, complete". Truly mature girls are rare, even though some girls think they are mature. But I've seen enough to know they aren't an endangered species.

The Bible tells of a "virtuous woman", whose price is "above rubies". Rubies are rarer and more expensive than diamonds. This, I believe, is the definition of a "perfect girl".

My Very General List

The Lord has led me to list the qualities of the girl I would hope to marry someday. My wish list, if you will.

1. She must be saved.

I can't marry a heathen! This really is, while not the most important part, the most primary part. God says I can't yoke myself with an unbeliever.

2. She must be spiritual.

This is not the same as being saved. Saved girls can also be not spiritual. She should at least know her Bible well enough. This is even more paramount than the first, but it is impossible to achieve this without the first.

3. She must be smart.

I'm doomed. As long she is not stubborn. I can work with that.

4. She must be beautiful.

Of course. Why not? *wink* In reality, the beauty of a girl is, as often cliched, "inside". As long that "inside" beauty shines outward. She should have at least enough sense to take care of herself. And she should be naturally beautiful without makeup. I hate it when girls think that their makeup actually makes them more pretty. It DOESN'T!

5. She must be modest.

This is more important than you think. At least something should be covering her knees at all times. And maybe I should demand Victorian elegance?

6. She must be a bit shy.

Really extroverted girls are okay, but to me, they are not date-able or marriageable. Especially if she talks to random guys. So simply, a girl who doesn't flirt.

7. She must be faithful.

Girls are fickle, according to my experience.

That list only applies to me. It appeals to my taste and values. If you have a different conviction, then follow that conviction. This list is for me, not you. If you are a girl interested in me, then you must at least have the first one got down. If you don't know how to get saved, click here. Then talk to me. And then actually work on acquiring the other things on the list.

The Quest So Far?

Hmmm... The quest is actually going on well, thank you. I've weeded out the girls that don't fit the list and looking into girls that have at least some of the qualities presented here. I've tested some girls that have stood out as the most likely candidates.

One day, I will find her. I do not know who she is yet. But I know God has someone planned for me. *wink*

In Christ,

The Gentleman X