Some say the split sessions at the conferences do not have as much impact as the main sessions. I object. The split sessions offer more practicality and a more personal direction and depend less on emotional response. I place them in more or less equal importance as the main sessions. My main summary of the conference can be found here.
A little background: Bro. Reno Likins, before preaching a sermon on Tuesday, went into a matchmaking deal. He called up some of the single youth workers and chaperones that were guys and matched them with girls in the audience. I was pushed onstage, and I was matched with a lady named Genna.
I guess that's the IFB version of Christian Mingle?
Anyways, the following day at the split session, Bro. Dean Miller got me up front to ask me some probing questions about it.
"What was going in your head when you sat by Genna?" or something through that effect. The guy is hilarious, by the way. New favorite comedian preacher.
I said I prayed. And I did pray. But that's not the whole story. I chaperoned at this conference because the times I was at Shawnee YC and the Indian Creek Camp were some of the times where God's will was most clear to me. I'm a 20 year old in my senior year of secular college, and I have no/some idea what I will do afterwards. I have a record of past decisions, but my current situation and emotion makes me question.
Preachers always say that the one whom you will marry is the second most important decision after salvation. As much as I looked cool, confident, and debonair in the conference, I was terrified at the possibilities of what might happen next.
I'm not a Calvinist. I believe because there is free will, possible alternate universes/timelines (at least in the mind of God, not physically existing, mind you) where every decision except where God willed otherwise (that is, there are no universes or timelines where Jesus did not come down on Earth and was crucified and rose again, but there are timelines where I picked Reese's Puffs instead of oatmeal for breakfast). In that same vein, each girl that one might possibly marry represents a possibility, a new universe, a timeline, a possible will of God.
"Was she the prettiest girl you sat next to?"
No. (A gasp from the audience, probably one of her friends.) Probably not. Just being honest. Besides, I didn't have much time to study her.
"Top 5?"
I couldn't name top 5. I've sat next to some of the most beautiful girls. Some of whom have broken my heart.
All I could say was that she wasn't bad at all. She is beautiful in her own way.
After sitting down, he preached on Ruth. Or was it Esther? Probably Ruth. I didn't name the speakers in my sermon notes.
But what rang in my head was that the Holy Spirit and the Lord Jesus Christ speaking to me. I remembered the earlier sermon on Ephesus. I remembered how they lost their first love. I then remembered Bro. Miller speaking on falling asleep in God's will, and then waking to find his wife. Neat story.
"Fall in love with Me, first," He said.
But, but-
"Fall in love with Me."
This thought is what rings in my head after all the sermons have almost been forgotten. And within that thought encapsulates my conference decision.
Actually, there's still more to it than that simplification.
Being in a secular college through a Christian college program called College Plus, I meet many, many good Christian girls. Good, yes, but most of them are not the strain of Baptist I was raised in. Some are non-denominational, Reformed, Baptist, all very good Christians and I'm very blessed to be one of their friends. I started to wish I could date/court a couple prospects, because I can't find any girls within my circles of fundamentalism.
Remember that part where each girl represents a possibility of the future, a possibility of God's will, a possibility of an alternate, parallel universe? With one girl I see myself being a rich scientist of a corporation or even an entrepreneur. With another, I see myself as a leader in a non-denominational missions organization. Others still represents the veins of political power or educational standing or high society.
What if I married one of these good Christian girls who are not the same exact faith as I have? If God wants me to be a Baptist preacher as I surrendered myself years ago at Indian Creek, then... they don't represent the future, the timeline, the will God wants for me.
And my heart aches, because I have to wait. But that thought still rings in my head.
"Fall in love with Me."
I pray I surrender to this thought every day.
Thank you, Bro. Miller. I know your questions were in jest.
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Saturday, June 14, 2014
On Thee Subject O' Shipping : Wishful Matchmaking
Some recent thoughts about the same subject from She-Who-Doesn't-Want-To-Be-Named prompted me to write my own thoughts (I was the acquaintance in the post, woohoo!). Also, give her blogs lots of views and comments and things!
Basically, shipping is wishing. As in, wishing for certain two people (fictional or not) to become a couple in a romantic relationship. So it's a step below active matchmaking. More like passive matchmaking, or wishful matchmaking(?).
The word is usually used in a "fandom" context, which is the general term for the fanatic fan bases of fictional works. Yes, I just described "fans" as "fanatic".
Apparently, I'm the President of the CP Matchmakers Club, by the Founder of the Club, C_____ Thompson (first name removed to protect identity). So I have a lot of expertise regarding this. I did bring a couple into a long term relationship. (But really, that was more of things working out rather than I having some invisible hand in it, I think. Meh. I'll take credit for it).
My friend here, She-Who-Doesn't-Want-To-Be-Named, points out that shipping friends is, well, awkward.
Especially when you are at the receiving end. There goes "So-and-So with So-and-So", and so on. Thing is, people, even our best friends, don't know their own friends that well. Or they are just bad at judging.
Or maybe, the friends don't know who they are shipping you with. They may know you, but they don't know the other person well enough. At least, you know things they don't know. It can range from superficial differences to deep rooted doctrinal belief systems.
Or maybe they do know their friends well, but the "opposites attract" principle actually applies to the people you like. I get tired of people pairing me with short girls, or girls with glasses, or girls with dark hair, or fill in the blank. Just because I am one way doesn't mean I want my future mate to be like that!
Gianna Jensen, an abortion survivor and pro life activist with cerebral palsy, sums it up well. I heard her say the following at the home school convention in Cincinnati. She may be a survivor, but she is a victim of shipping.
Just because someone is going through the same thing as us doesn't mean we want our future spouse to be going through such things. Maybe we want them to have already overcome those things. Or not have to worry about them. Or we just prefer not to be reminded about ourselves and our shortcomings.
Also, just because a pair are really good friends does not mean they will make a great, or even a good couple. Friends at work, friends at church, or anywhere. They may make a good time, but in the end, you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them. Having romantic notion will kill some friendships. There is a good reason for friendzones. Sometimes, they are just there to preserve that relationship. Personally, I keep girls I like to an acquaintance level before dating them. I do not want to be close friends with them. I will not date any girls that are close friends with me, currently. If I consider you my sister, or something, I definitely will not date you.
It's also coupled by the fact that really good friends sometimes fall for the ones you do like, because they see that person perfect for them, not you. Many a rivalry have been started between friends because of love triangles, simply because the friends were so alike. It makes me sad, bu also, I've experienced friends fall for girls I like enough that I don't have that many close friends who are of the same gender.
It boils down that there are a lot of factors one must consider for that perfect pairing, not only in paper, but naturally, as well. What looks good in theory, will not always work in practice. I guess that's where dating comes in.
I do wish someone would accurately ship me with people I do like. Haha. ;) Also, if I do not recoil from your ship of me and another person, she might have a chance! XD Usually, it would be a person I have not met yet that I would give a chance.
In the end, some of my ships have been wrong. Shipwrecked, as one would say. But looking at the couples today and how happy they are, I'm glad I was wrong. Still, I have a reputation for matchmaking, so... all hands on deck!
To conclude, here are some of my "ships":
Artemis Fowl series: Artemis Fowl and Minerva. I think an Artemis/Holly pairing is way too mainstream.
Doctor Who:
The 10th Doctor and Madame Pompadour. I love Girl in the Fireplace! There is no reason for the Tenth to simply time travel back to take her again to be a companion.
The 10th Doctor and Astrid. If not Madame Pompadour, Astrid is my second ship for the Tenth Doctor.
The 11th Doctor and River. This is canon and OTP (One True Pairing). (I had to look that acronym up, too)
Sherlock (BBC): Sherlock and Molly, hands down.
ACE (Accelerated Christian Education) comic strips: Ace and Christi, of course! Stop being so platonic! (Granted, I don't know anything that happens after the 6th grade PACES)
Real-Life: Initials only for privacy, but you can guess. Ask me privately, and I'll confirm if you are right. There's a mix of church friends, college friends, online friends....
D M and L M.
M S and C M.
J M and A T.
L G and B P.
H S and J G.
E K and R M.
A S and J G.
B P and P K.
J G and T H.
A Y and B J.
Will edit as I think of them.
Basically, shipping is wishing. As in, wishing for certain two people (fictional or not) to become a couple in a romantic relationship. So it's a step below active matchmaking. More like passive matchmaking, or wishful matchmaking(?).
The word is usually used in a "fandom" context, which is the general term for the fanatic fan bases of fictional works. Yes, I just described "fans" as "fanatic".
Apparently, I'm the President of the CP Matchmakers Club, by the Founder of the Club, C_____ Thompson (first name removed to protect identity). So I have a lot of expertise regarding this. I did bring a couple into a long term relationship. (But really, that was more of things working out rather than I having some invisible hand in it, I think. Meh. I'll take credit for it).
My friend here, She-Who-Doesn't-Want-To-Be-Named, points out that shipping friends is, well, awkward.
Especially when you are at the receiving end. There goes "So-and-So with So-and-So", and so on. Thing is, people, even our best friends, don't know their own friends that well. Or they are just bad at judging.
Or maybe, the friends don't know who they are shipping you with. They may know you, but they don't know the other person well enough. At least, you know things they don't know. It can range from superficial differences to deep rooted doctrinal belief systems.
Or maybe they do know their friends well, but the "opposites attract" principle actually applies to the people you like. I get tired of people pairing me with short girls, or girls with glasses, or girls with dark hair, or fill in the blank. Just because I am one way doesn't mean I want my future mate to be like that!
Gianna Jensen, an abortion survivor and pro life activist with cerebral palsy, sums it up well. I heard her say the following at the home school convention in Cincinnati. She may be a survivor, but she is a victim of shipping.
My friends would always tell me that they found a great guy for me. He's smart, handsome, etc. whatever.
And the clincher.... he also has cerebral palsy. (Gianna makes a distraught face)
Just because someone is going through the same thing as us doesn't mean we want our future spouse to be going through such things. Maybe we want them to have already overcome those things. Or not have to worry about them. Or we just prefer not to be reminded about ourselves and our shortcomings.
Also, just because a pair are really good friends does not mean they will make a great, or even a good couple. Friends at work, friends at church, or anywhere. They may make a good time, but in the end, you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them. Having romantic notion will kill some friendships. There is a good reason for friendzones. Sometimes, they are just there to preserve that relationship. Personally, I keep girls I like to an acquaintance level before dating them. I do not want to be close friends with them. I will not date any girls that are close friends with me, currently. If I consider you my sister, or something, I definitely will not date you.
It's also coupled by the fact that really good friends sometimes fall for the ones you do like, because they see that person perfect for them, not you. Many a rivalry have been started between friends because of love triangles, simply because the friends were so alike. It makes me sad, bu also, I've experienced friends fall for girls I like enough that I don't have that many close friends who are of the same gender.
It boils down that there are a lot of factors one must consider for that perfect pairing, not only in paper, but naturally, as well. What looks good in theory, will not always work in practice. I guess that's where dating comes in.
I do wish someone would accurately ship me with people I do like. Haha. ;) Also, if I do not recoil from your ship of me and another person, she might have a chance! XD Usually, it would be a person I have not met yet that I would give a chance.
In the end, some of my ships have been wrong. Shipwrecked, as one would say. But looking at the couples today and how happy they are, I'm glad I was wrong. Still, I have a reputation for matchmaking, so... all hands on deck!
To conclude, here are some of my "ships":
Artemis Fowl series: Artemis Fowl and Minerva. I think an Artemis/Holly pairing is way too mainstream.
Doctor Who:
The 10th Doctor and Madame Pompadour. I love Girl in the Fireplace! There is no reason for the Tenth to simply time travel back to take her again to be a companion.
The 10th Doctor and Astrid. If not Madame Pompadour, Astrid is my second ship for the Tenth Doctor.
The 11th Doctor and River. This is canon and OTP (One True Pairing). (I had to look that acronym up, too)
Sherlock (BBC): Sherlock and Molly, hands down.
ACE (Accelerated Christian Education) comic strips: Ace and Christi, of course! Stop being so platonic! (Granted, I don't know anything that happens after the 6th grade PACES)
Real-Life: Initials only for privacy, but you can guess. Ask me privately, and I'll confirm if you are right. There's a mix of church friends, college friends, online friends....
D M and L M.
M S and C M.
J M and A T.
L G and B P.
H S and J G.
E K and R M.
A S and J G.
B P and P K.
J G and T H.
A Y and B J.
Will edit as I think of them.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine's Day Part #1: Questions and Pick Up Lines
Check out Part 2!
Let's do questions first.
Who is your current crush? Who was your first crush?
I like the orange soda, too. I don't have a Crush soda though. Just some apple cider. I wonder why the makers of Candy Crush haven't sued them yet?
Crushes make us young. I am frankly attracted to someone at the moment. She has blondish, brownish, long hair-ish. From College Plus? No names, lest I embarrass her. Cause she probably doesn't have a clue that I do. Maybe. ;)
I kept this answer intentionally vague. :P
My first crush's name was Millicent Rose in kindergarten. She's also the first girl I've taken a picture with. I have no idea where the picture is.
Why am I single?
There are countless alternate universes where you are NOT single. So have consolation in the fact that one of you in another alternate universe has a perfect girlfriend that loves you and cherishes you and marries you, happily ever after.
Unfortunately, travel between universes are not allowable by our current technology and/or laws of physics.
Why do we love?
We love because God has first loved us. And also, chocolate. Also, chemical interactions in our brains. Also, peer pressure. Also, the butterflies in our stomach and meeting someone's eyes. And knowing you will never going to be with that person.
Favorite love song(s)?
Right now, "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, but also "My Girl" by the Temptations, and "Fur Elise" by Bach. Also, I call them sentimental songs, not love songs. Oh, and "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know"! :D
Courting or dating?
I subscribe to this thing called "courtation". Okay, I'm kidding. I will have my thesis on it post as separate, so check that out. I kinda define that dating is before engagement, and courting is after engagement.
Qualities in girls you like?
I only like girls who are virtuous, godly, good, beautiful, and single. Oh, and she must have cookies for me.
Who is my favorite historical couple?
I ship Adam and Eve, Valentine and Asterius' daughter, Doctor and River Song, Jesus Christ and His Bride (though technically a future thing). Bonnie and Clyde; and Marie and Pierre Curie did not make the list, unfortunately.
My favorite is probably Prince Albert and Queen Victoria of England. They are a model every family, royal or otherwise, should aspire to.
How did the heart morph from a fist-shaped organ to the cute little shape we see everywhere today?
The first instances of the use of the so-called geometric heart shape was during the Middle Ages in the use of decoration (Think of the decorated medieval books and Bibles with pictures). But it was not identified as a heart and a symbol of love until around the 13th century, where it was depicted as a pine cone shape in the hands of a knight giving it to his damsel in distress. It appears in various paintings from then on. The current form was finalized around the 14th or so century, and the hearts on playing card games came around the 15th.
In my opinion, the heart-shape is actually more accurate, but exaggerated, than it is given credit for. A normal heart has four chambers, and a somewhat pointed bottom. Also, Cupid cannot hit anyone with his heart arrows without the point. So it does have a practical purpose.
But yes, it went from a fist, to a pine cone, to a the pointed cardiod shape today.Neat, huh?
Which is better to give your Valentine, roses or chocolates?
Chocolate roses. Sprinkled with bacon. A whole bouquet. I don't care if you have money to afford this, steal, plunder, beg, save, invest, so you can have enough. Always, always go over the top on Valentine's Day for your love. Your Valentine will always have a fond memory of you. I promise.
Now for some pickup lines!
Christian pickups:
I've been reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I don't have yours.
Are you my babe in Christ?
Hi, my name is Will. God's Will.
Is your name Grace? Cause you are amazing.
Can I have your name and number for my prayer list?
Is that a mirror in your Bible? Cause you are reflecting the image of Christ.
Is it a sin to steal my heart?
Before this night, I never believed in predestination.
Is this pew taken?
I've picked out our chaperones.
You're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.
Is your name Faith? Because you are the substance of things hoped for!
Doctor Who pickups:
Will you be my companion?
My heart for you is bigger on the inside.
Babe, you make both of my hearts skip a beat.
We have all of time and space to get acquainted.
Come along, Pond!
You're my fixed point in time.
You must be a weeping angel, because I can't take my eyes off you.
Bonus pickups:
Hey, do you have my hairbrush? Because you are a real peach. (Veggie Tales)
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any eye rolling, face slapping, indiscriminate laughter, cold shoulders, heart breaking or otherwise from the use of the above pickup lines. Use them at your own peril. I will, however, take credit for any engagements and marriages resulting from such use. And invite me to the wedding. Please. Or even have me officiate the wedding! :D
Thanks to Rikki Meek, Hannah Musick, Joshua Loomis, Drew Sproule, Skip Graham, Faith Burnside, Sarah Iddings, Garret Johnson, and everyone else who submitted a line or question or suggestion, or I did otherwise steal from you.
Check out Part 2!
Let's do questions first.
Who is your current crush? Who was your first crush?
I like the orange soda, too. I don't have a Crush soda though. Just some apple cider. I wonder why the makers of Candy Crush haven't sued them yet?
Crushes make us young. I am frankly attracted to someone at the moment. She has blondish, brownish, long hair-ish. From College Plus? No names, lest I embarrass her. Cause she probably doesn't have a clue that I do. Maybe. ;)
I kept this answer intentionally vague. :P
My first crush's name was Millicent Rose in kindergarten. She's also the first girl I've taken a picture with. I have no idea where the picture is.
Why am I single?
There are countless alternate universes where you are NOT single. So have consolation in the fact that one of you in another alternate universe has a perfect girlfriend that loves you and cherishes you and marries you, happily ever after.
Unfortunately, travel between universes are not allowable by our current technology and/or laws of physics.
Why do we love?
We love because God has first loved us. And also, chocolate. Also, chemical interactions in our brains. Also, peer pressure. Also, the butterflies in our stomach and meeting someone's eyes. And knowing you will never going to be with that person.
Favorite love song(s)?
Right now, "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, but also "My Girl" by the Temptations, and "Fur Elise" by Bach. Also, I call them sentimental songs, not love songs. Oh, and "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know"! :D
Courting or dating?
I subscribe to this thing called "courtation". Okay, I'm kidding. I will have my thesis on it post as separate, so check that out. I kinda define that dating is before engagement, and courting is after engagement.
Qualities in girls you like?
I only like girls who are virtuous, godly, good, beautiful, and single. Oh, and she must have cookies for me.
Who is my favorite historical couple?
I ship Adam and Eve, Valentine and Asterius' daughter, Doctor and River Song, Jesus Christ and His Bride (though technically a future thing). Bonnie and Clyde; and Marie and Pierre Curie did not make the list, unfortunately.
My favorite is probably Prince Albert and Queen Victoria of England. They are a model every family, royal or otherwise, should aspire to.
How did the heart morph from a fist-shaped organ to the cute little shape we see everywhere today?
The first instances of the use of the so-called geometric heart shape was during the Middle Ages in the use of decoration (Think of the decorated medieval books and Bibles with pictures). But it was not identified as a heart and a symbol of love until around the 13th century, where it was depicted as a pine cone shape in the hands of a knight giving it to his damsel in distress. It appears in various paintings from then on. The current form was finalized around the 14th or so century, and the hearts on playing card games came around the 15th.
In my opinion, the heart-shape is actually more accurate, but exaggerated, than it is given credit for. A normal heart has four chambers, and a somewhat pointed bottom. Also, Cupid cannot hit anyone with his heart arrows without the point. So it does have a practical purpose.
But yes, it went from a fist, to a pine cone, to a the pointed cardiod shape today.Neat, huh?
Which is better to give your Valentine, roses or chocolates?
Chocolate roses. Sprinkled with bacon. A whole bouquet. I don't care if you have money to afford this, steal, plunder, beg, save, invest, so you can have enough. Always, always go over the top on Valentine's Day for your love. Your Valentine will always have a fond memory of you. I promise.
Now for some pickup lines!
Christian pickups:
I've been reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I don't have yours.
Are you my babe in Christ?
Hi, my name is Will. God's Will.
Is your name Grace? Cause you are amazing.
Can I have your name and number for my prayer list?
Is that a mirror in your Bible? Cause you are reflecting the image of Christ.
Is it a sin to steal my heart?
Before this night, I never believed in predestination.
Is this pew taken?
I've picked out our chaperones.
You're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.
Is your name Faith? Because you are the substance of things hoped for!
Doctor Who pickups:
Will you be my companion?
My heart for you is bigger on the inside.
Babe, you make both of my hearts skip a beat.
We have all of time and space to get acquainted.
Come along, Pond!
You're my fixed point in time.
You must be a weeping angel, because I can't take my eyes off you.
Bonus pickups:
Hey, do you have my hairbrush? Because you are a real peach. (Veggie Tales)
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any eye rolling, face slapping, indiscriminate laughter, cold shoulders, heart breaking or otherwise from the use of the above pickup lines. Use them at your own peril. I will, however, take credit for any engagements and marriages resulting from such use. And invite me to the wedding. Please. Or even have me officiate the wedding! :D
Thanks to Rikki Meek, Hannah Musick, Joshua Loomis, Drew Sproule, Skip Graham, Faith Burnside, Sarah Iddings, Garret Johnson, and everyone else who submitted a line or question or suggestion, or I did otherwise steal from you.
Check out Part 2!
Friday, October 11, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Musings About Girls and Various Things Like That
Musing #1:
So.
I like most girls.
I have many friends that are girls.
I really like some girls.
I really, really liked a few girls.
I only love one girl.
I have never had a girlfriend.
Musing #2:
I have asked out many girls to dance.
They all said "yes".
I've only asked out girls for a banquet thrice.
They all said "no".
I only had two dates in my life.
We were just as friends.
I thought she was the one. No, she is the one.
We're just acquaintances now. Almost strangers, but not quite.
No one. I have no one.
I never really knew where I stood with her. Who is she to me? Who am I to her? I. Don't. Know.
Musing #3:
I think all that I am is an annoyance to her. That I really don't mean anything to her. That I just imagined I might have meant something. But not really. Maybe, I have meant something, just not in the way I thought I did.
I asked her out once. I don't think I'll ever do it again. I felt like I wasn't wanted there. She sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but there where I was. That's why I ran. So she wouldn't have to be anywhere near me.
I tried to be just a friend to her. But I can't. She can't as well.
When I look at her, I see all my failures. When I look at her, I miss her even more. So close, and yet so unreachable.
And I still am running.
Musings #4:
Why do I pour out my heart on these blog posts?
Because I want to, that's why. And the majority of the readers won't know the details.
So you are left to ponder.
Musings #5:
Only God can bring this soul to peace, this longing heart to hope.
So.
I like most girls.
I have many friends that are girls.
I really like some girls.
I really, really liked a few girls.
I only love one girl.
I have never had a girlfriend.
Musing #2:
I have asked out many girls to dance.
They all said "yes".
I've only asked out girls for a banquet thrice.
They all said "no".
I only had two dates in my life.
We were just as friends.
I thought she was the one. No, she is the one.
We're just acquaintances now. Almost strangers, but not quite.
No one. I have no one.
I never really knew where I stood with her. Who is she to me? Who am I to her? I. Don't. Know.
Musing #3:
I think all that I am is an annoyance to her. That I really don't mean anything to her. That I just imagined I might have meant something. But not really. Maybe, I have meant something, just not in the way I thought I did.
I asked her out once. I don't think I'll ever do it again. I felt like I wasn't wanted there. She sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but there where I was. That's why I ran. So she wouldn't have to be anywhere near me.
I tried to be just a friend to her. But I can't. She can't as well.
When I look at her, I see all my failures. When I look at her, I miss her even more. So close, and yet so unreachable.
And I still am running.
Musings #4:
Why do I pour out my heart on these blog posts?
Because I want to, that's why. And the majority of the readers won't know the details.
So you are left to ponder.
Musings #5:
Only God can bring this soul to peace, this longing heart to hope.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Relationship Ramblings, Or, Why Sam Doesn't Have A Girlfriend
Another rare post about *cough* girls. Or, actually, relationships. Or something. No, just random ramblings without construction about the fact of relationships or lack thereof.
Everyone I know seems to ask me if I have a girlfriend, or if I'm courting. My grandma, cousins, family, relatives, strangers, friends from church and college, authority figures, teachers, pastors, random people....
I keep telling them, No, not yet, me? I have to... earn money, finish college, stuff like that. That I'm very, very picky. That I only want one girlfriend, and that she'll be my future wife someday. That I want to be patient and be very careful.
And that's all true. They're not really excuses, or at least bad ones. But what I don't tell many people is that I think I know who she is.
But I don't tell them. Because I feel like I fail in everything I plan concerning these things. Always waiting and waiting for weeks to build up courage. Always failing to ask in time for a date to the banquet. Always resigning whenever the one you ask tells you that, in a deflating tone of voice, why she can't go out with you. Always feeling too dejected to try again in the foreseeable future.
(That's why I look forward to the bi-annual dancing balls where the Scottish music plays around here in Ohio every spring and winter. At least there, no lady will reject any gentleman who asks her for just a single dance. And all dance as friends, not any more than such. There is no dating or any such romantic matter. Just merely fun and laughs. But I digress.)
Some people have caught on a little bit on who she would be. Or maybe, they already know for sure who she will be, as if God reveals it to them, not to me. I think He does, though. Either that, or there's a huge conspiracy going on. Them peoples making little snide, seemingly harmless jokes here and there, and I just smile and shrug it off.
It's probably my fault. Making little art game in dedication to a certain, specific mademoiselle was not the most subtle thing I could have done for Valentine's Day. I don't regret doing that, though.
People are smarter than you think. They observe you. They know more.
I think she even knows. Maybe. Or maybe she actually dislikes me a lot. Or thinks me amusing. I never really asked. Sometimes I want to know. Sometimes I don't want to know.
It's been a long time since we were together for any reason. We used to go to school. And to youth group activities. And nowadays, I only see her at church, rarely. I think we naturally avoid each other. I can probably count only a handful of times where we both were in proximity of less than one feet from each other. And most of those times were more or less forced. It made me hesitant and uncomfortable and yet strangely hopeful.
You probably can tell she occupies my thoughts a lot. Trust me, I tried forgetting. And erasing my memory. And finding another to take her place in my heart. To no avail. And that's one reason I know it's her.
Even then....
What am I supposed to do, though? Every opportunity I ever had has disappeared and it doesn't seem like any will come. I'm just quiet now. Waiting. Dreaming. Watching. Hoping. Praying. Looking out my window to see a winter wonderland.
I've just accepted the fact that if we were indeed meant for each other, that God will bring us together one day.
I love her. I trust Him.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Celtic Ball
"We give praise and honor to the Lord of the dance..."
This is a highlight of my life. What an epic weekend!
The Celtic Ball is an annual springtime event organized by home schoolers in the state of Ohio. I was invited, along with a few other fellow CollegePlus! students.
I arrived at the novice practice at about 1:30 PM. Beforehand, I took my SAT at Ohio State University. The practice was in the ballroom in the Ohio Wesleyan University. A bit confused and lost at first, I wandered around the campus until I saw people dancing inside the center.
I gave my ticket at the registration desk and entered the ballroom. As it was just the practice, I came in with casual attire. Standing, I immediately spot Brittany Proffitt and her twin sister Bridget, whom I've met on CollegePlus! chat. A certain person who was supposed to drop by and say hello, didn't. :(
I had the most clumsy practice ever! Its good I hadn't tripped. Afterwards, I met Mr. and Mrs. Proffitt, and we had dinner at Bob Evans nearby. Oddly, or not oddly, all of us teenagers ordered Chicken N' Noodles Deep Dish Dinners. Mrs. Deborah Proffitt interrogated me on some random stuff.
We put on our formal attire, and waited for the Grande March. There were about 250 people in attendance! Miss Lisa Spyker, the one who invited us to the Ball, showed up with the other CollegePlus! students attending. After an impromptu photo shoot, we were off!
With the bagpiper leading the way, I walked with Brittany and Bridget walked with her father in the march. I danced a couple with the twins, and then after the breaks, danced with random girls to traditional Scottish music. I am very thankful that the Ball was not a "dating" thing, or I would have not come, due to a prior commitment. It was great seeing all the happy "couples" and sets and groups.
And.
There.
Were.
COOKIES!!! :D You can't forget about the cookies.
And so my night ended. Tis a very, very, happy night, indeed. Can't wait for next year! (If I don't go to college by then)
Interesting links:
This is not a link, just normal words.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thee Infamous Valentine's Banquet
Yes, I spelled "the" "thee". What are you going to do about it, grammar/spelling nazi?
It's a strange ritual. A boy asks a girl to accompany him to a night of food, games, photographs, and awkwardness. To top it all off, he must go shopping for clothes to match the girl.
Yes, it's that time of year again.... The time where I try to find a girl to ask out to the infamous High Street Baptist Church Youth Department Valentine's Banquet. I'm doing it early this year, since it's my last.
And I know who it is. ;)
So guys, pray for me. Please?
The Banquet on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/events/300684746650473/
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